


A Close Shave

by RueAnokiRiley



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Babu's first work, Female pronouns for Pidge, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, accidental recreational drug use, liberal use of ancient video game references, where my dynasty warriors fans at
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-03 21:36:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10975800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RueAnokiRiley/pseuds/RueAnokiRiley
Summary: Hunk spots Lance's roommate for the first time and oh no he's hot.





	1. Dip Me

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a break from the other fic I'm working on so I wrote this drabble. *Throws it into the ether* here u go. I may or may not continue this as a multi-chapter fic.  
> If y'all notice any errors please point them out to me.

The front door rattled and squeaked and Pidge appeared, easing it open while balancing two enormous take-out bags in her arms. Light from the hallway was cast across Lance and Hunk who were hunched in front of the tv. The tip of Lance’s tongue stuck out between his teeth. Hunk’s controller looked like it was nearing its breaking point.

Pidge flicked the light on and both boys squawked and moved to cover their eyes, cartoon cars swerving off the screen. 

“Pidge!”

“How long have you two been sitting here in the dark?” She moved towards the kitchenette, slinging both bags onto the counter with a sigh of relief. “And since when do you leave the door open, Lance?”

Hunk straightened up, stretching exaggeratedly towards the ceiling and then squinting at the room around them. “When did night happen?”

“Dude, what time even is it?” Lance rubbed at his eyes and pawed around for his phone, his car driving in tight circles on the screen. 

“It’s 8:30, and you know what that means,” Pidge dropped onto the couch behind them, fork in one hand and greasy thai container in the other. 

Lance perks up. “Movie night!”

“And its MY turn to pick.” Pidge smirks around a mouthful of noodles as Lance deflates again. He hoists himself off the ground with a groan. 

“Please not another conspiracy movie,” Hunk says, checking his phone. Three missed calls from the same number. He puts it back in his pocket.

“And no Studio Ghibli either!” Lance calls from the kitchen. He’s examining containers one by one, sniffing some and sorting them into different areas. 

“Why are you trying to ruin my fun?” Pidge harrumphs, before smiling slyly. “Besides, I already have one picked out and it just so happens to be neither of those things.” She moves her takeout to the floor, carefully, and slides forward to the game system. An unmarked DVD case appears in her hands and she inserts the disc. 

Hunk feels several pops in his joints as he rises to his feet as well, passing Lance on his way to the kitchen. 

Lance plops down next to Pidge with his chosen container. “What is it then?” He looks at the tv warily and then grabs the remote, turning the volume down just in case. 

The familiar sounds of DVD previews float out to Hunk as he sorts through the containers of take-out. His eyes land on an enormous box of tofu with peanut sauce and he smiles. She got his favorite. 

He grabs it and a fork and calls out to the other room. “Pidge. I love you.” 

“You’re about to take that back.”

He sits down on his end of the couch next to Pidge (who is always, always, relegated to the middle spot – shes too light to sink between the cushions) and waits for the DVD menu to appear with a look of trepidation. 

Floral, classical-sounding music floats out of the tv and Pride and Prejudice fades in. 

Hunk looks at Pidge, shocked, and she immediately shouts, “I have to watch it for a class!”

Hunk feels a grin spread across his face and he leans towards the girl. “Pidge. Do you have a secret you wanna tell us?” 

“I hate these types of movies! I swear!” she insists, back stiff. “I just figured we’d kill two birds with one stone.”

Hunk leans back with a groan. “Fine, I guess we’ll live, right Lance?”

He feels a jolt from the other end of the couch. “What? Yeah, no, yeah, just gotta, hah, suffer through it right?” Lance says quickly, voice slightly higher than usual.

Hunk peers around Pidge’s head. “You okay dude?”

“Yeah, psssht, fine,” Lance drawls, throwing an arm over the arm rest and dropping his fork. “Shit.” He jumps up and slinks off to the kitchen to grab a new one. 

“Alright, everyone quiet.” Once Lance is seated again, Pidge hits the play button and pulls a notebook and pencil out of nowhere. Hunk relaxes in his seat, getting ready for several hours of boredom. 

Hunk is reluctantly waiting on the edge of his seat as Darcy is crossing a misty field when Pidge grabs the remote and pauses it. She stands and head for the kitchen, empty container in hand. “Gotta re-up.”

Hunk shakes himself a bit. “All this English weather is making me have to pee, yo,” he says as he stands, stretching out his arms to either side and groaning. “Ill be right – Lance, you okay?”

Lance is gazing at the tv, eyes glazed and shiny. He sniffs a bit as Hunk says his name. “What?” He snorts again and rubs a hand across his face. “I’m fine,” he says wetly. 

Hunk chuffs a laugh and Lance’s eyes narrow in warning. 

“I’ll be right back,” Hunk repeats and beats a hasty retreat down the hall to the bathroom.

He’s silently laughing to himself as he turns the knob and goes to flick the – huh, the light’s already on.

He turns to face the room and a smaller man in pair of tight, bright-red briefs is leaning over the bathtub. 

His first reaction is intruder! But then he puts together the longish black hair and pale skin and realizes – roommate! 

Lance’s roommate, to be specific, who had only been spotted twice in the year and half they had occupied the apartment. What was his name? Ken? Kevin? 

This was a rare occurrence, he realized, through his panic. 

The roommate is standing on the floor with one leg propped up on the edge of the tub. There’s a can of shaving cream on the floor and a razor in his hand.

The man doesn’t seem to notice Hunk’s presence just yet. He seems focused entirely on the razor blade as he moves it up his shaving-cream-covered leg. Hunk feels his eyes bulging and he starts to ease his way back out of the room.

_If he sees me this will go from accident to social catastrophe._

He’s got the door half-closed on him when the wood squeaks and the man glances up. His eyes go comically wide and he straightens up all at once, too fast. A slight “eep!” makes its way out of his throat as he loses his balance and pitches backwards, feet sliding forwards across the tile and arms flying out to the sides.

“I’m sorry!” Hunk cries as he instinctively moves to catch him. The door hits the sink and Hunk barely manages to slide his arms underneath the falling man in time, squeezing his eyes shut when he sees the man’s hand flying towards his face. His cheek stings as it connects and his knees hit the tile.

He takes a breath as he registers the pain in his legs and the warmth in his arms. He feels skin slide across the skin on his arms and cracks first one eye open, then the other. 

The roommate is staring at the ceiling, eyes wide and shocked, before he turns and looks Hunk in the face.

Woah. 

Lance hadn’t mentioned that his roommate was hot.

The man (man? Boy? His face looks so young) gazes up at Hunk in surprise with dark blue, almost violet eyes and Hunk is suddenly wildly aware of all this bare skin, and how smooth it feels in his arms.  
The man jerks and Hunk snaps back to his senses. “I’m sorry!” he cries again as the boy scrambles out of his arms and hits the floor. There’s shaving cream on Hunk’s shirt. The boy gets to his feet, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. 

Hunk rises as well, hands in front of his chest. “Sorry! Sorry!”

The roommate is still watching him, eyes wide and face bright red.

“You can’t knock??”

“I didn’t think anyone was here!” Hunk cried, starting to back towards the door.

The man’s mouth opens as if to say something, but Hunk reaches the door and retreats quickly, closing it firmly behind him. He rushes back down the hall into the living room.

“That was short for you, dude. You know you shouldn’t try to force it out, you’ll hurt your-”

Hunk wheels on Lance, furiously whispering “I thought your roommate wasn’t home!”

Lance eyebrows raise. “I haven’t seen him all day,” he whispers back. “I just assumed-”

“Well he is definitely home!” Hunk hissed. 

“Why are we whispering?” Pidge hissed back.

Hunk freezes as he hears the faint sound of the bathroom door open. There are a few muffled footsteps, and then the sound of a door closing. He relaxes minutely, turning back to his friends. 

“I just walked in on Kelly in the bathroom!” He hisses. 

“Keith??” Lance asks, shocked.

“Yes! Your roommate!” 

They both burst out laughing, the traitors. “It’s not funny! Quiet, he’s gonna hear!”

“What was he doing?” Pidge asked, choking down a giggle. “Was he just, like, peeing or was it something embarrassing?”

“Was he jerking off?” Lance chortles and woah. Those mental images are getting filed under “later.”

“No, he was -” Hunk breaks off. He feels blood rush to his face as the other two both quiet down, looking at him questioningly. He knows they won’t leave him alone until they get the full story now, and lord knows he can’t lie. He swallows and braces himself. “I think he was shaving his legs.”

He looked back and forth between wide, surprised eyes. 

Lance let out a sound like a whimper and then they were both cracking up again, holding their stomachs and nearly rolling off the couch. 

Hunk sighed.


	2. Feed Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're just trying to have a good time, man.

“Duuuude that’s like, a lot of colors.” 

Hunk’s voice floated up from the floor. He’s got his legs hooked over the back of the couch and his head hanging upside down off the edge of the seat. He’d seen the opening cinematics for this countless times before but in his current state, it seemed entirely more interesting.

They had both thought it’d be a good idea to try to play Dynasty Warriors on edibles. At first it didn’t seem that different to him from playing Dynasty Warriors sober, until the first cut scene (it was just, so pretty, the flowers, the petals floating down) and now Lance was struggling onwards alone.

“Yeah, like, at least four.”

“Bruh.”

“Bruh indeed.” Lance is replying distractedly as he steers through canyons. “I hate these night maps so much.”

“I’m pretty sure you need to go to the left, dude.” Hunk squints at the screen.

“Hunk you’re upside down, you don’t even know which direction left is.”

“I’m- I’m pretty sure you’re going back towards your own camp.”

“No, I’m not!” Lance continues in the direction he was headed, reaches his base camp, and turns around. “Not a word.”

Hunk watches the character’s ass sway as he runs and thinks this would be a good way to hypnotize someone. 

“Yeah, now don’t go straight here, you gotta go around so you can take that bridge over the-”

“FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK?”

“Yeah that’s their main camp dude that’s what I was telling you-”

“HUNK I SWEAR TO GOD.”

Lance gets jumped by about five officers and the Defeat screen flashes, Cao Pi declaring something or other about glory and peons.

“When did this game get so hard?” Lance whines, slumping back and dragging a hand over his face.

Hunk laughs. “You gotta chill dude, you’re ~harshing my mellow maaan~.” He tries to pick his head up off the floor to look at Lance and woah, okay, maybe he’ll just stay still. “I even put it on easy too, dude, how are you failing that bad.”

“You WHAT?”

Lance starts the battle again and he’s been trying to mount his horse for a solid two minutes when Hunk hears the click of a door down the hallway. He knows that’s supposed to mean something, but his attention is fixed on watching a very serious-looking warrior repeatedly jump and flip over a horse while Lance curses louder and louder. 

“Isn’t your character buffed enough that its faster to go on foot anyway?”

Lance huffs. “Its the image of the thing, Hunk. Your enemies aren’t gonna respect you if you just stride in there like some,” he waves his hand, “plebe. You gotta ride in with style, all,” he continues waving a hand around, his character turning in circles, as he looks for the word. “Uhhhhh magic? Logistic.” He stares intently at his own hand and waves it more purposefully, eyes going wide.

“Majestic.”

“Yeah, that.” Lance is utterly entranced with the movements of the tendons on the back of his hands, fluttering them and looking delighted.

Hunk thinks maybe they should’ve eaten half a brownie each instead of a full, but also, fuck it. He’s needed a day like this for a while, where he doesn’t think about much except continuously realizing that smoking is weird. Like, really weird, if you think about it. Like, who saw a plant and was like, you know what? I’m gonna-

Keith appears out of nowhere, or maybe he’d been standing there in the hallway for a minute, but Hunk suddenly notices him and jumps.

Hunk scrambles to right himself, ends up sliding sideways on the couch and then onto the floor, kicking the controller out of Lance’s grip on the way down.

“DUDE.”

“Sorry!” Hunk struggles to right himself as Lance dives for the controller, focusing on the game again. His character is shouting repetitively on screen as he gets knocked back by a level 1 soldier with a stick. By the time Hunk’s sitting somewhat properly on the floor and he’s gathered himself enough to support his own head on his neck, Keith is already past them and in the kitchen. 

Hunk tries to gather his chill, but he has kept an eye out for Lance’s cryptid roommate and has not seen him _once_ in the two weeks since what he refers to as The Incident. Which is really a pity because, damn. He sure would like to.

“How are you, just, the clumsiest person,” Lance grumbles.

“I didn’t even know he was here.” Hunk pitches his voice low enough to not be heard from the kitchen.

Lance whispers back. “Me neither.”

Hunk cranes his neck over the couch to try to see through the kitchen doorway. When he turns back Lance is smirking at him again.

“Why do you care so much anyways?”

Hunk huffs. “Don’t you think you should, like, be friendly with your roommate?”

Lance looks over at him, considers, and then turns back to the game. “Nah, he generally seems like an asshole.”

Hunk looks at him reproachfully. “Have you even tried?”

“Not really. Not everyone likes people in general as much as you do, my dude.”

A brief clatter of silverware and Keith strides back through a few minutes later, take-out container in one hand and phone in the other, thumb scrolling. He’s almost in the hall when Hunk works up his nerve.

“Hey, Keith, right?” Lance immediately stares at him as if to say _what are you doing??_

Keith’s thumb abruptly stops scrolling and his head slowly comes up. He turns and glances at Hunk before his eyes widen in recognition. 

Well, at least he’s left an impression. 

Keith blinks and then clears his throat, shaking his head a bit. “Yeah?”

“How, uh, what’s up?”

Keith’s gaze darts from side to side as if looking for a trap. “Uh, nothing, I guess?” He looks around him as if looking for inspiration, then holds up the food in his hand and shrugs a little.

There’s a moment of awkward silence while Hunk searches for something to say and Lance pounds furiously at the buttons.

“Witness a True Warrior of the Three Kingdoms!”

“HAH, SUCK MY DICK, MA CHAO.”

Hunk shoots Lance a glare and then turns back to Keith. “Do you wanna, like, chill?”

Keith’s eyes narrow defensively. “What’d _I_ do?”

Hunk back tracks frantically, “no no, I meant like, chill, with us.”

Comprehension dawns on Keith’s face. “Oh, uh, not...right...now? Thanks.” He stands perfectly still for a moment, then turns and rushes down the hall.

Lance waits until they hear the door close and then shoots him a look. “Dude, really?”

“Aren’t you the least bit curious?” Hunk tries. “I think that went well, he didn’t even ignore us!” 

Lance sits up straight as his character takes on a base single-handedly. “Listen, we have a system, it’s been working just fine thus far. He keeps to himself, I keep – ah _fucking_ archers I swear to – I keep to myself, we each have a shelf of the fridge and two cupboards. If the do- _die will you???_ if the bathroom door is locked we don’t go in. No one has to interact with a douche bag and everyone’s happy.”

Hunk considers for a moment. 

“Hunk, don’t do it.”

“I’m gonna befriend him,” he declares. 

Lance shoots him another look that says can-you-please-the-fuck-not. “He is not a stray cat just leave him BE.”

“Does he even have friends? Have you ever seen him with a friend? Does he have a job? When does he leave for work? We’ve never seen him leave for work. Is he like secretly rich?”

“Dude I really don’t know, the man is some kind of ninja. Which also makes him the perfect roommate.” Hunk looks at him. “Fine, I think I saw a dude drop him off in a car once, that’s literally it. Besides,” Lance turns from the game to pout at him. “Am I not friend enough for you?” 

He flops down across the couch behind Hunk’s head, arm coming up across his face dramatically.

“Is the relationship dead? It’s because I stopped putting out isn’t it? I’ll find a way to rekindle-”

“Lance,” Hunk chuckles. 

“Acch, MEN,” Lance cries, staggering to his feet and throwing his hand over his heart. “He tells me we’ll be best friends forever until some -” he mimes spitting “ - _roommate_ sashays by and then the interest is gone.” He waves dramatically. “Just like that.” 

He sweeps behind a chair and drapes himself across the back of it. 

“I gave you my best years and what’d I get for it? Left, an old maid. What man would have me now?” 

He dashes around to the TV, caressing Lu Bu’s angry face where it’s frozen on the screen mid-yell. “At least you won’t leave me, will you Bu?”

Hunk cracks up and Lance breaks character, both chortling. 

“I think you like Bu better than me anyways,” Hunk teases.

“He’s you, only angrier.”

“Um, rude.”

Hunk lets the subject drop while Lance finishes the battle, but he just can’t stop wondering.

“Are you not curious at all?” He finally bursts out. “What does he do in his room all day when he is here and we aren’t seeing him?” 

“He’s probably just in there watching weird porn or writing edgy poetry on myspace or something.”

Hunk pauses as something registers from earlier. “...Wait, did you say you have separate shelves of the fridge?”

Lance looks at him. “Hunk. We’ve been hanging out here for over a year, and you seriously didn’t know, like, rule #1?” 

Hunk’s hand flies to his mouth, eyes wide. “I usually just grab whatever!”

“Have you been _eating_ his _food??_ ”

Hunk frantically tries to remember the last things he either took out or put in Lance’s fridge and, well, that would explain how Lance’s taste had seemed to sporadically improve and then degrade over the weeks.

“Do you think he’s mad?”

And then an altogether more horrifying thought strikes him. 

He lurches up off the floor and towards the kitchen, or at least he thinks he does because he can’t really feel the right side of his body, but he’s definitely moving and nothing hurts yet. 

“Hunk? What’s wrong? I better not have to get up for this, I don’t think I can even see the floor.”

“ _THE BROWNIES LANCE!_ ” 

Hunk rips the door open to the fridge and is greeted by the sight of one brownie and, hands-down, the worst brownie-sized empty space he’d ever seen. He’d never been more disturbed by a lack of brownie than he was in this moment. He gazes forlornly at the space in the bag where the second brownie _should have been._

He yelps as Lance grabs his shoulders and then gasps “no. Holy shit. No way. Why would you put it on his shelf???”

Hunk’s mouth opens and closes. 

They both turn to look at the hallway, dread in their eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the reaction to edibles seems unrealistic, then either you or I got some weird edibles.   
> (Apologizes to God himself for abuse of adverbs)


	3. Ask me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We have to tell him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but necessary chapter.

Hunk and Lance sat on the couch in mirror positions, forearms on thighs, hands clasped, brows furrowed. He didn’t know how long they’d been sitting here, staring at the carpet and trying to think of what to do, but he knew there was only one choice. He took a deep breath. 

“We have to tell him.”

Lance shot off the couch. “We _can’t_ ,” he whispered furiously. “He’ll _kill us both_.”

“It was just an accident,” Hunk said, more as a thought than a reply, eyes still fixed on the floor in front of him. “He can’t get _that_ mad over an accident, right?”

Lance groaned, covering his eyes with both hands. “They’re gonna be scraping our blood out of the carpet for weeks. They’re gonna have to search the whole city to piece us back together. ‘Where’s his other eyeball,’ Mama will ask through her tears. ‘We think it’s probably in the river, ma’am.’ Oh _god_.” 

“Lance,” Hunk said, sitting up straighter. “We have to tell him, what if he thinks he’s dying or something?”

“Maybe he didn’t even eat it!” Lance clutched at his heart. “Ah, my poor baby sister, she’ll see it on the news. Crazy roommate mauls heart-throb. Total hottie gets shredded, and not in the good way.” Hunk shoots him a look and he sighs. “Fine, we’ll tell him. If you survive, make sure no one looks in the shoe box in the bottom of my dresser.”

Anxiety bloomed in Hunk’s chest as they crept down the hall, shooting each other nervous glances. They reached Keith’s door and both froze. 

Hunk stared at the handle, willing himself to knock. He couldn’t do it. He looked desperately to Lance, gesturing at the door with an open hand. Lance’s eyes widened and his face contorted between shock and anger. He gesticulated wildly at the door, at Hunk, at the door, at himself, and more, finishing with a poke to Hunk’s arm and a glare. 

Hunk turned back and raised a hand, trying to tamp down his nervousness with deep breaths.

He knocked twice. 

There’s a pause and the sound of movement and then the door cracked open. Keith peered out at them. 

“...What?”

Hunk swallowed and opened his mouth to speak. Finding it suddenly very dry, he coughed and closed it. He felt Lance nudge him and tried again. 

“We, uh… we need to talk to you.”

Keith opened his door a bit more, his whole face visible now through the opening. “About what?”

Hunk felt Lance straining beside him to get a better look at the room and smacked his arm. “We, uh, did you eat one of the brownies that was in the fridge?”

Keith’s eyes widened a bit, “oh, were those yours? They were on my shelf-”

“No, I don’t care about that,” Hunk interrupts. “Just, did you actually _eat_ it yet?”

Keith was looking at him like he was crazy. “Uh, yeah, sorry...”

Hunk and Lance groaned in harmony. “You better come sit, dude.”

***

“So...I’m just gonna get high?” 

Hunk studied Keith’s expression, ready to use a pillow as a shield in case any weapons appeared. Lance was sitting next to him on the couch and definitely _not_ cowering. 

“Yeah...pretty high, but unless you’re allergic or something, you should be okay. It just might be scary for a bit, which is why you should stay out here with us, not in your room.”

Keith hummed thoughtfully. “Okay.”

Hunk breathed out. “You’re...not mad?”

Keith considered. “No, it was just an accident, right? My fault, really.” Hunk fought to close his mouth as Keith stood. “I’m gonna go grab my phone and stuff. I’ll be right back.” 

Hunk watched him leave and then turned to Lance, who was equally surprised. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Hunk grinned. 

“Told you he was a decent dude.”

Lance sputtered. “He’s probably getting his knife collection as we speak.” 

“You know what this means, right?” Hunk’s tone picked up as realization hit him. “We’re gonna chill with him, _and_ he’s gonna be stoned!” 

Lance flopped backwards into the cushions. “Okay, this might be fun. _If_ he doesn’t kill us.”

Hunk went to the fridge and pulled out the other brownie, bringing it back over to Lance. “Wanna split it?”

“Dude,” Lance groaned. “I’ve had enough for today. I’ll babysit.” 

Hunk shrugged and popped it in his mouth, flopping back down next to Lance. 

“Time to get funky.”


End file.
